Loneliness: The Ongoing Epidemic in Pakistan
In Pakistan, a place where houses are full, dinners are filled with laughter, and family bonds run deep. The idea of loneliness seems unlikely and far fetched. Yet, beneath the surface, emotional isolation is silently growing and emerging as one of the biggest and crucial mental health challenges we meet head on in this country.
Oftentimes, we hesitate to discuss it, but it is still there, haunting our households and sneaking into our relationships. In spite of being surrounded by loved ones, many Pakistanis still ponder over the fact, “Why do I still feel so alone?” This isn’t just a personal battle anymore; it’s a collective issue of our society that needs recognition, not neglect and it calls for collective healing.
A silent battle in crowded spaces
In our society, when someone admits to feeling lonely, they are met with dismissive comments:
“You are surrounded by so many people, so how can you feel alone?” It is as if being in a crowd means there's no space for emotional emptiness. Loneliness isn’t just about being physically alone, it is the lack of meaningful connections. You could be surrounded by people at a Dawat table, cousins’ hangout, Eid gatherings and still feel completely invisible. In fact feeling unseen can hurt more than being alone.
Why is loneliness spreading in Pakistani Society?
1. The illusion of digital connection:
Social media keeps us connected; but does it really? It has given us a false sense of connection. We see filtered snapshots of each other’s lives, throw out a few likes and comments, share dozens of reels, but how often do we find ourselves engaging in heartfelt conversations? Social media has now turned into this endless cycle of comparison - whether it’s a flashy wedding, a foreign trip or a high-end lifestyle, it only widens that emotional gap. We have stopped sharing our struggles and instead, we only share our highlights which creates a sense of disconnect.
2. Home No Longer Feels Like Ghar
There used to be a time when a home was much more than just a structure with walls and a roof, it was about the people inside. The presence was natural. Love was loud and vibrant.
But now everyone lives a life behind closed doors, glued to their screens. Dinner which was once a place to ask, “How was your day?” has now become a solitary affair.
For the people who live in different cities or even overseas, the feeling of isolation is even more pronounced. There are no familiar scents enticing the air, no one waiting for you with a cup of tea, and no unsolicited check-ins from family. Just long evenings staring at a glowing screen that rarely pings with notifications.
We assure ourselves that we are independent now but deep down, we are craving for a kind of warmth that’s hard to recreate.
3. Gendered Emotional Expectations:
In almost every Pakistani home, women are expected to be caregivers. They listen, give and sacrifice but rarely receive anything in return. Their loneliness lingers behind the roles they fulfill: as a wife, mother, daughter, or a bahu.
For men, showing emotional vulnerability is seen as a sign of weakness. So they tend to stay silent, no matter how much they are struggling to cope. Male mental health is still a relatively overlooked issue.
4. The Stigma Around Mental Health:
In Pakistani society, conversations around mental health are clouded by religious guilt, where emotional suffering is often equated with spiritual failure. The dismissive attitude adds to the pain. The stigma around mental health in Pakistan makes it incredibly difficult for people to seek help.
Loneliness is More Than Just a Feeling
Loneliness is more than just a "sad feeling." Research indicates that chronic isolation can be as damaging to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It is a major precursor to:
Clinical Depression & Anxiety: Prolonged isolation weakens emotional resilience.
Physical Ailments: It is linked to a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke.
Cognitive Decline: For the elderly, loneliness increases the risk of dementia by nearly 50%.
Weakened Immune System
Pakistan is a place where mental health resources are very limited, the physical and emotional toll of loneliness often goes unnoticed.
What Can We Do to Heal?
1. Rebuild Community:
Let’s bring back those genuine connections. Whether it’s hosting meet-ups, setting up support groups, or just checking in on our loved ones; the smallest of gestures can make someone feel valued and cared for. Moreover, you can join your local activities groups such as book clubs, running clubs and group trip travel agencies!
2. Normalize Conversations Around Mental Health:
Use platforms like schools, workplaces and even social media to talk about emotional well-being. If these conversations start within our homes, the stigma surrounding mental health begins to diminish.
3. Learn to Listen Without Judgement:
To be trusted with someone’s truth is to be invited into a holy space - take your shoes off. Not everyone is looking for a solution. Sometimes, we just have to lend a listening ear. Be that person who creates a safe space for others to share without interruption and judgement.
4. Seek Professional Counseling
A qualified psychologist in Islamabad can provide Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help you challenge negative thought patterns and build the social skills needed to reconnect with the world. Mental health clinics like SOCH Clinics etc
The Way Forward for a Less Lonely Society
Loneliness; although a prevalent issue but it doesn’t clearly show up in the people who are struggling with it. It is a silent battle. Sometimes it takes the form of a preoccupied student, a quiet mother, a weary father, or a man who feels lost in his own emotions and fails to express them. This issue haunts our day to day lives, hidden by a small yet heavy statement, “ I am fine.” It is high time we stop glorifying struggling in silence. Emotional strength doesn’t come from being silent.
Let’s aim to build a society where emotional vulnerability is a sign of bravery, not a flaw. Where checking in on someone feels natural, not awkward.
And Remember!
If this message resonates with you, please share it with someone who might be quietly battling their own struggles. Reach out to them. Spend some time together. And if you are ready to take the next step, don’t hesitate to contact a professional - whether for yourself or someone you care about. Let’s make healing a community effort.
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